You've probably made a New Year's resolution or two in your time. Maybe you've even made one about your relationship.
But here's the thing about relationship resolutions: they're usually vague, well-intentioned promises that evaporate by February.
This week's listener question comes from Skeptical in Shefield a woman whose partner following the New Year Relationship Audit we talked about in our new years day episode announced his New Year's resolution was to "work on us." She was thrilled until she asked what that actually meant. His response? "You know, just being better. More present. Making more effort."
Sound familiar?
In this week's Love for Life episode, Ben and I dive into why vague relationship goals are actually worse than no goals at all:
- Why "I'll try harder" without a plan is just procrastination with better PR
- The real reason most couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help
- When to choose relationship coaching versus therapy and what the difference actually is
- What "working on us" should look like if you're serious about change. And most importantly how to approach the situation so you can move forward hopefully together.
- And whether demanding specifics from a partner makes you unreasonable or just realistic.
- We also talk about when good intentions become performative, why some people resist getting help, and how to know if you're actually working on your relationship or just talking about working on it.
This one's for anyone who's tired of having the same conversation about change without seeing any actual change.
Meanwhile Ben shares his love and extensive knowledge on Romcoms and our cat nearly breaks our studio. ā¤š±
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With love,
Nichole & Ben
P.S. If this episode hit home and you're ready to actually work on your relationship (not just talk about it) - the Love for Life Course is here. Six modules. Evidence-based frameworks. The system we use in our own marriage. Self-paced or VIP with live coaching and direct access to both of us. VIP closes January 29th. Very limited VIP places. Learn more or reply with questions.
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